In this issue, we will discuss Abraham’s dealings with King Abimelech and how they develop a friendship through relationship challenges. We have been studying the life of Abraham and discovering life lessons we can apply from his life to ours. In our last issue, I described how Abraham met God and found out about his nephew Lot’s dangerous position.

We are looking at how Abraham dealt with the leaders around him as he lived in a foreign land. King Abimelech was one of those leaders. What can we learn from how Abraham dealt with the unbelieving leaders around him today?

I am sure you will find this issue interesting because of the ethical and moral implications of how Abraham dealt with King Abimelech. I will conclude with some life lessons we can learn from Abraham and Abimelech and how we can apply them in our life.

Abraham Tells a Half Truth to King Abimelech (Genesis 20:1-7)

As we look at Abraham’s dealings with King Abimelech, we first see that he traveled to the territory of the Negeb between Kadesh and Shur. He lived in the land of Gerar. The Negeb is a dry desert region of the southern part of Israel. Back then, it would have been part of Canaan.

It is a good place for sheep and cattle but is a harsh and rugged land. While they are there, Abraham is up to his old tricks. Just like when he and Sarah were in Egypt, he says that Sarah is his sister. Sarah is a beautiful woman and she is sought by King Abimelech.

Every time Abraham has been insecure about his life and the dangers of living where they lived, he has given this description of his wife. Since he is concerned that they would kill him to take Sarah as his wife, Abraham keeps telling people in new areas that she is his sister.

This seems unusual to us and presents an ethical quandary because we know the full truth of who Sarah is. Abraham probably sees this as keeping him alive in these dangerous places. We discovered that Abimelech is the king of Gerar and he decides to take Sarah into his harem.

King Abimelech is a very powerful man and perhaps Abraham had good reason to fear for his life. The same thing that protects Abraham put Abimelech in grave danger. From the moment he takes Sarah into his palace, people begin experiencing sicknesses (Genesis 20: 18). He may not have realized why, but the Lord told him.

I’m just glad that God lets us in on what’s going on around us? If God did not tell King Abimelech what was happening, it is most likely he and his household would have died and the people would be looking for Abraham. God protected both Abimelech and Abraham.

God came to Abimelech in a dream. Genesis is one of the most dream-oriented books of the Bible. It is one of God’s chief ways to reveal Himself, prophetically warn of dangerous, and outcomes, and highlight His people to unbelievers. God tells Abimelech why bad things are happening in his house.

God tells Abimelech straightforwardly that he is a dead man. The laws that governed Canaan apparently applied to kings as well as the common person. If nothing else, God’s law supersedes all human made laws. Even if Abimelech would not have violated Canaanite laws, he violates God’s law of marriage between a man and a woman.

Of course, Abimelech has no idea that he has taken Sarah into his household against God’s law. In Abraham’s dealings with King Abimelech, he did not tell him she was his wife. God gives wisdom and a reality check to Abimelech in his dream. He can give us wisdom and direction in dreams. He has not changed (Hebrews 13:8; James 1:17) so He can still use dreams today as He did back then.

Since I have been paralyzed, I have had dreams about walking again. Dreams are a real way for God to minister to us. He often uses dreams in lands and countries where Muslims do not otherwise hear the gospel.

Jesus reveals Himself to these Muslims in their dreams and tells them specifics about a missionary who is near them. I have friends from Bible College who minister in Muslim areas and they have incredible examples of God doing this.

I wonder what it was like for Abimelech to see God in his dream. However God communicated who He is to Abimelech, more important is that God gave him divine revelation and knowledge through the dream to discern who Sarah was. His sensitivity to the Lord saved his household.

Abraham’s dealings with King Abimelech show us that we can have wisdom from God however He gives it to us. Next, Moses lets us know as the readers of Genesis that Abimelech had not approached Sarah. He had taken her into his household, into his harem, but had not acted on her recent arrival.

This might have been his saving grace. God has amazing and accurate involvement in the affairs of humanity. He let Abimelech know Sarah’s true nature as Abraham’s wife before Abimelech had sealed his fate. God knows exactly what is happening in your life and He will intervene at just the right moment.

Abimelech is still doing the right thing morally and ethically as far as he knows, so he appeals to God based on his integrity and innocence. He had no idea Sarah was married to Abraham. He acted in good faith based on the information he had. Sometimes we make mistakes not because we intend to do wrong, but because we don’t have all the information we need.

Isn’t it interesting that Abimelech speaks to Yahweh in his dream? Did you ever notice that before? It struck me as I read through this passage. God is not only the God of those who know and love Him but of those who live because of His divine grace.

Abimelech dreams, and he talks to God. He is aware of God’s righteousness and holiness. When he offers his defense of what he has done, God accepts it. God does not demand from us things we do not know. Just as I, as a Christian, do not demand unbelievers to act in Christian ways. God did not expect Abimelech to know Sarah was Abraham’s wife.

In Abraham’s dealings with King Abimelech, he told Abimelech that Sarah was his sister. Abimelech took Sarah into his household as his wife. God is gracious enough to not expect unbelievers to submit to His commandments. He is gracious to keep people from His judgment until they choose against a saving relationship with Him.

God tells Abimelech He knows Abimelech did this in the integrity of his own heart. God reveals that He protected Abimelech and his household from His judgment that would cause them great harm. God protects us from things we don’t even know can happen to us. He did not kill Abimelech and his household based on his lack of knowledge.

God was on Abimelech’s side. This did not mean Abimelech could go along and act as he wished because he was in the right. God warned him that if he did not return Sarah to Abraham and have Abraham pray for his safety, God’s judgment would flow and his household would die. God gives unbelievers grace, but if they do not repent, His judgment will still come down on them.

The Consequences of King Abimelech’s Actions (Genesis 20:8-13)

We continue to study Abraham’s dealings with King Abimelech. The next morning, Abimelech called all his servants together to tell them what had happened. Can you imagine being a servant in the king’s household and hearing that God Himself had appeared to your king in a dream? They were very much afraid. That’s probably an understatement!

Their lives are at risk and they can die if this does not play out right. They didn’t do anything wrong either. They were under King Abimelech’s orders to take Sarah into the palace. Their obedience might cost them their very lives. It’s interesting that everyone in this kingdom that Abraham thought, “There is no fear of God in this place” were all very much afraid of God and His power.

People are aware of God’s existence. They may not worship Him or subscribe to His commandments, but they know He’s there. When we witness to them, they may only have general revelation of who God is, but they are aware of Him. Atheists do not like God or worship Him, but even they must acknowledge His existence. We must not assume people are unaware of God.

Abimelech immediately calls for Abraham. He doesn’t wait around or try to figure out a diplomatic way to handle this. He confronts Abraham directly about what he has done. Sometimes direct confrontation is the best way to handle a situation.

Abimelech asks Abraham three questions that show his anger and frustration. Let’s look at how these questions show how wrong Abraham was about these people. First, Abimelech asks, “What have you done to us?” Abraham is clearly in the wrong. It is possible for you to be Christian and be wrong about the world you live in. We make assumptions that cost us our testimony and respect by unbelievers.

Do not be like Abraham and give excuses or further information that you think will change the situation. It is best for us to admit when we are wrong and ask for forgiveness. It is okay for you to tell people you are not living the way Jesus teaches. They already know that when you’re in the wrong. It’s amazing how much this world knows of Jesus’s teaching even though they don’t follow it. They know when you are not following it.

Next in Abraham’s dealings with King Abimelech, he asks Abraham, “How have I sinned against you, that you have brought on me and my kingdom a great sin?” Abimelech raises the fact that he did not do anything to Abraham for Abraham to react this way. When people rightly call us out, we have no excuse.

Abimelech was not only responsible for himself and his house, he was responsible for an entire kingdom. God’s righteous wrath if he did not return Sarah to Abraham would be Poured out on his own kingdom. He had a great responsibility that Abraham did not consider. We must realize the consequences of our actions especially when they involve people.

Third, Abimelech asks Abraham, “What did you see that caused you to do this thing?” Abraham had with the situation all wrong. He thought this place was like Egypt. It was not. He expected these people to be ungodly and immoral. He expected his life to be in danger. Abraham was in some ways a very insecure person.

We must be able to read the room. People may be more open to the gospel than we think. Most people are not as a moral as we think. People attribute Blaise Pascal with the concept of a God -shaped hole in every person. It’s the idea that every person has a concept of God and a desire to worship Someone or something. Without special revelation of who God is, we will turn to worship other things.

It is more likely people are familiar with God but do not realize who He really is until they meet us. We must represent Jesus well as His ambassadors. If we are not Christians to serve Jesus and are committed to His teachings, we do not have the right to speak about Him. In fact, they will not want to hear about Jesus if you do not represent Him well.

Abraham’s insecurity about his own life could have destroyed an entire kingdom. What are your insecurities? Do you rely on your own resources and abilities instead of God’s protection and provision? Abraham was threatened in this new place but for no reason. No one made any dangerous actions against him or Sarah.

Let us not forget that Abraham was a very wealthy man. He had many servants under his command. He had many positions in livestock and animals. These were the hallmarks of wealth in the Old Testament era. He also had a fighting force he has used in the past of over 300 trained warriors (Genesis 14:14-18).

Abraham doesn’t apologize first. Instead, he explains his reasoning. He says he thought there was no fear of God in this place and that they would kill him because of his wife. He assumed the worst about these people without really knowing them.

Abraham reveals something we didn’t know before. He tells Abimelech that Sarah really is his sister – his half-sister. They have the same father but different mothers. So technically, Abraham wasn’t lying, but he wasn’t telling the whole truth either. God told Abimelech Abraham was a prophet. But he wasn’t acting like one.

Abraham also reveals that this isn’t the first time they’ve used this deception. He tells Abimelech that when they left Abraham’s father’s house, he asked Sarah to show him kindness by saying she was his sister. This was their standard operating procedure when they felt threatened.

Do you have a comfortable custom that can put other people in danger? We seek our comfort rather than the comfort of others. Sometimes we do not care if we put others at risk because we care more about ourselves. The Bible teaches us to seek other people’s good before our own (Romans 15:1-2; 1 Corinthians 10:24; Galatians 6:2; Philippians 2:3-4)

Abraham’s faith, while strong in many areas, had some weak spots. Abraham tended to rely on his own schemes rather than God’s protection. We all have areas where our faith is stronger and areas where it’s weaker. We are growing in our faith and Christian character. No one is immune from the same struggles Abraham had. Give the Holy Spirit time and room to working you. He is making you look more like Jesus through your obedience.

Abraham Prays for King Abimelech (Genesis 20:14-18)

I hope you are learning a lot from Abraham’s dealings with King Abimelech. Despite the awkward situation and legitimate anger from Abimelech, something beautiful happens next. Abimelech doesn’t just send Abraham away in anger. Instead, he restores Sarah to Abraham and gives him sheep, oxen, and servants. He also tells Abraham he can dwell anywhere in his land.

It seems strange that Abimelech was the offended one, and yet he is the one to offer Abraham gifts. This is his way of making everything great. Remember that he is the one who will die because of the sin he committed without knowing it. Perhaps he is so relieved to have resolved the situation that he happily gives gifts to Abraham.

Although Abimelech was offended, he made the first move to reconcile. Jesus did the same thing. Let us follow Abimelech’s and Jesus’s example and be the first to make the step toward reconciliation. Let God defend you.

Even more graciously, Abimelech gives Sarah a thousand pieces of silver as compensation. This was a way of publicly vindicating Sarah and showing that her honor had been protected. Because God protected Abimelech and his family from worse punishment than they were receiving, he had not taken advantage of Sarah in any way. He wanted people to know that she was not at fault.

Genesis 20:17 tells us that Abraham prayed to God, and God healed Abimelech and his wife and female servants so they could bear children again. The Lord had closed all the wombs in Abimelech’s household because of Sarah.

Abraham had deceived Abimelech, put his entire kingdom in danger, and caused God to afflict his household. Yet when Abimelech shows grace and kindness to Abraham, Abraham reciprocates by interceding for him before God. Maybe Abimelech did this out of obedience to God’s command to have Abraham pray for him. This must be done if his household and him would survive God’s punishment.

This shows us the power of grace and forgiveness in relationships. When Abimelech responded with grace rather than vengeance, it opened the door for Abraham to minister to him. Abraham’s prayer was effective because he was a righteous man, despite his flaws.

The fact that God closed the wombs in Abimelech’s household shows how seriously God takes the marriage covenant. Even though Abimelech acted innocently, the potential violation of Abraham and Sarah’s marriage had serious consequences. Marriage is sacred to God.

Abraham Makes a Covenant with King Abimelech (Genesis 21:22-34)

There is another place in Genesis where we see Abraham’s dealings with King Abimelech. Later in Abraham’s life, Abraham and Abimelech interact again. By now, Isaac has been born and is growing up. Abimelech comes to Abraham with the commander of his army. He means business!

Abimelech tells Abraham, “God is with you in all that you do. He has seen God’s blessing upon him. Our lives speak louder than our words about the God we serve. But Abimelech has also seen Abraham’s weaknesses.

Abimelech wants to make a covenant with Abraham. Covenants were not just between God and His people. God actually used a covenant because it was already Culturally understood by the Israelites.

This was a binding agreement that had stipulations each party must perform. If that party did not follow the stipulations of the covenant, he would be guilty and the offended party could carry out the agreed-upon consequences. Sometimes those consequences required the person’s life.

Abimelech wants assurance that Abraham will deal kindly with him and his descendants, just as Abimelech has dealt kindly with Abraham. Despite the earlier deception, Abimelech holds no grudges and wants to maintain a good relationship.

Abraham agrees to the covenant, but first he brings up an issue. His servants have dug a well, but Abimelech’s servants have seized it. In an arid land like Gerar, water was crucial. Abraham wants this issue resolved before they make their covenant.

Abimelech claims he didn’t know about the well being seized and says no one told him. This could be true – kings sometimes do not know every detail of what their servants do. Abraham brings it to his attention and Abimelech is willing to address it.

Even back then, before entering a serious and binding agreement, parties had to address issues that would lead to mistrust. There is nothing wrong with you addressing issues you may have with the person before you go into business with them or commit to a long-lasting relationship. It is safer for you to work out problems before they become long-lasting problems.

To seal their covenant and settle the water issue, Abraham gives Abimelech seven ewe lambs. These lambs are a witness that Abraham dug the well and has the right to use it. Abraham calls the place Beersheba, which means, “well of the oath.”

After making the covenant, Abraham plants a tree in Beersheba and calls upon the name of the Lord. This tree would be a living memorial to their covenant and to God’s faithfulness. Abraham acknowledges that his relationship with Abimelech and his security in the land come from the Lord.

Have you ever made a physical reminder of what God has done or agreements you have made? They can be powerful reminders to us of God’s goodness and provision. Every time we notice them or look at them, we can thank God for all He has done for us.

The text tells us that Abraham sojourned in the land of the Philistines for many days. This suggests a long, peaceful relationship with Abimelech and his people. What started with deception and conflict ended with friendship and mutual respect.

Life Lessons from Abraham’s Dealings with King Abimelech

We can learn some important life lessons from how Abraham dealt with King Abimelech and how their relationship developed over time.

First, we must be truthful in our dealings with others, especially those in authority over us. Abraham’s half-truths created problems and put innocent people in danger. While God ultimately worked everything out for good, Abraham’s deception could have had serious consequences.

Partial truth is just as dangerous as outright lies. People make decisions based on the information we give them. If we withhold crucial information, we may inadvertently harm them or put them in difficult positions.

We must trust God to protect us rather than relying on our own schemes. Abraham’s fear led him to deception because he didn’t trust God to keep him safe. But God had promised to bless Abraham and make him a great nation. How could God fulfill that promise if Abraham died? Abraham’s fear was unnecessary.

When we face threatening situations, we should pray and seek God’s protection, not to devise clever schemes to protect ourselves. God is more than able to keep us safe, and He often does it in ways we would never have imagined.

Another lesson is the power of grace and forgiveness to transform relationships. Abimelech had every right to be angry with Abraham and to banish him from his land. Instead, he was gracious and compensated Sarah for what had happened. Abraham responded to this grace by interceding for Abimelech and his household. What could have been a permanently damaged relationship became a lasting friendship because they chose grace over vengeance.

Unbelievers are watching us and seeing how we live for God. Abimelech watched Abraham over time and concluded that God was with him. Despite Abraham’s mistakes, his life bore witness to God’s reality and power. We are living testimonies of God’s reputation. People are watching to see if our faith makes a real difference in how we live. Even when we stumble, God can still use our lives to point others to Him.

Another important lesson is that we must be willing to address conflicts directly and honestly. When Abimelech had an issue with Abraham about the well, he brought it up. He didn’t let resentment build up or talk to others about it first. He went straight to Abraham. When Abraham had concerns about the covenant, he brought up the water rights issue before proceeding. Both men were willing to have difficult conversations to maintain their relationship.

In our relationships and business dealings, it’s wise to have clear agreements and to honor our commitments. Our word should be our bond, and we should be people others can trust to follow through on what we promise. Jesus teaches us to be people of our word (Matthew 5:37).

Finally, we learn that God can use our mistakes and weaknesses for His glory. Abraham’s deception introduced Abimelech to the power and reality of Abraham’s God. What people can mean for evil, God can use for good (Genesis. 50:20). This doesn’t excuse our mistakes, but it reminds us that God’s grace is greater than our failures. He can redeem our worst moments and use them to accomplish His purposes. Don’t abuse God’s grace in your weakness. Your failures are not the end of your story.

Give God credit for your success and blessings. Abraham called upon the Lord’s name after making his covenant with Abimelech. He recognized his peaceful relationship with his neighbors was a gift from God. When we succeed in business, relationships, or any area of our lives, we should remember to thank God and give Him the glory. He is the source of every good gift, and acknowledging this keeps us humble and dependent on Him (James 1:17).

The Saga Continues…

Abraham’s story continues to unfold with lessons for us. In our next issue, we will look at the birth of the promised son Isaac and how that changed the game of faith for Abraham and Sarah. After 25 years of waiting, God finally fulfills His promise in a miraculous way that brings joy and laughter to them.