April 6 | Matthew 26:38-39
“Then He said to them, “My soul is very sorrowful unto death. Stay here and watch with Me.” And going a little farther, He fell on His face praying and said, “My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; yet not as I will but as You will.”” (Matthew 26:38–39)
Has your heart ever been so heavy you thought it would drown in your chest? Chest gets tight. Heartbeats slows. Lungs can’t take in air. The stress we cause ourselves can be unbearable. We’ve got nothing on Jesus.
The sinless Son of God was about to take on the weight of sin. To go from never sinning to taking on the full weight of sin, Jesus knew in his mind what he was getting into. But as the weight of sin came upon him, it was a new feeling.
It didn’t help that his disciples offered no support. He was alone in the garden. But he must suffer alone. No one can understand what he was going through. Well, except for his Father. His soul could barely handle everything that was about to happen.
And yet, he told the Father, “Not my will, but yours be done.” The closer he drew to the reality of the weight of the sin of the world and his death the more it would’ve felt good to back out of it. But Jesus knew what he had to do. He took the nails for you.
Action Step: In your deepest sorrows, cry out to Jesus. He knows exactly how you feel right now. He knows the pain you suffer, the heavy heart, the breathless chest. In your deepest, darkest valleys he walks with you.
Jesus, you know my troubles, broken heart, my deep despair. You were there, and you suffered much more than me. Bring me peace. Turn my morning into joy. I want to feel your hand on my shoulder, your strength in my despair. Let this star night of my soul pass into the light of the morning.